i hate it when people shit on others’ excitement. like “hey! i got a new computer!” “that’s nice, but mine’s better” or “hey! i finally killed that guy that’s been bugging me for weeks!” “what the fuck i’m calling the police” unbelievable.
add “e” to the end of anything to make it seem more cute. doge. froge. watermelone. murdere. the list goes on forever
Have you ever lost something and thought, “if I could just open a portal to another reality where I haven’t lost it, I could steal it from me and get it back”?
How do you know that’s not the reason you lost it
Wasn’t it January like 5 minutes ago?
I swear to god it was
Last time i checked it was 2011??
I fell asleep in 2007 and I woke up now it’s 2013
Wait the 90’s are over???
Hold up, the Spice Girls broke up!?